Zanguin

It has almost been a year since I last declared that I'd have this book written, and that I was doing it with my friend Glen. As I remember, "We're both committed to writing a 60,000 to a 100,000 word scifi novel in the next 334 Earth days. This project is to be completed and published within these dates: February 18, 2010 to January 20, 2011."

That day never came, that friend isn't around anymore, and the days before it were never mostly used to write Zanguin. She is my pride and joy, but I haven't had much spirit for her. Since I last remember, an energy washed over me which instilled inside of me a message, a tricky little bug that would dismantle my plans for my planet world. It sits so idly and patient. Somewhere inside of me, I bet the planet still spins and revolves around a glorious sun, and the people maintain their happiness, their spirits waiting to be given bodies, a land, a home.

That message told me to wait and grow and learn more before I even begin to tackle the idea. I looked around my life and agreed: school was something to focus on more because I was so close to graduating. Now that school is over and I have until the Fall to begin worrying about school, I have some time to learn, grow, blah blah, and work on Zanguin as well as get my life in order. Moving, traveling, writing, and getting a license are in my near future. I just know that I will do well on my driver's road test.

Someday soon, I know that Zanguin's world will explode with the words cultivating and twisting in writhes in my brain. I may have spent 50,000 of those precious words on another novel for National Novel Writing Month, but I know in my soul that another set of words will easily come from me when I finally sit down to comfortably write the novel. This Sunday morning will allow me to continue my plans with other projects for now, and the next weeks to come as well. Until such a fantasy, a dream, is to be birthed into the land of literature, I will continue doing what is still so passionate for me.

Recently, I started designing a card game, and I love it. It's such a neat idea and I can't wait to get it out there on print. The motivation for such a launch came from my dreams, which I've been having lately. In one night, I'd have a multitude of different dreams, all having nothing alike but one thing: myself inside of them. I had a dream some days ago which showed me as a successful board game designer.

If my dreams weren't realistic enough, this particular dreams in fact showed the entire game in print and I remembered exactly what the game was about. It's such a unique idea, too, so maybe it will launch successfully. I know that business is in my future. After all, I am a Capricorn.

Neutrality

What does one write about,
The one who has written it all?
No love to reflect on,
None to recall.
Has it truly been so long?
The season has dried me out.

Normally, oh so free would these fingers,
Wane the keys into the board,
And out-coming sweet music,
From those mature fingers, they'd pour.
Outlasting the normality of the seas,
Oxygen and hydrogen flying with ease.

Oh how the snow has dried me out,
And taken the storm by authority.
Oh, give me back sweet libetry.
Water to fill my pores,
And absorb into my soul.
Dream of the spring.

A blank monitor with white all about,
And words waiting to be written,
It is like my life for now.
The glimpse of sorrow soon to come,
And frustration.

Why does this mind rest so off ease?
Each night I sleep, writhing within the sleeves.
Oh the warmth of the covers, to lull me there.
To pass the care away and say,
That's it's time for a break.

It was when

It's beneath a bridge that I once knew.
I was traveling a long time ago through that region.
A pocket of space in my endeavors, an area where I settled down.
There, by that bridge, my life revolved around it.
And so many stories were made there.

Eons ago, it seems, as if it weren't yesterday?
That bridge held my hand and gave me soft kisses.
It once told me that I could sing forever, and melt the trees.
With such an envy that made birds become the rocks,
And I could sleep there forever, just me and that bridge.

Time would evade our space, just wrap around our bubble.
Like a bull run but so gentle around its borders.
I was told that I could hold therein an eternal rest,
And my unhappy feet could live in coexistence with my happy spirit.
And soon, finally, each part would feel love.

Sometimes, I'd smell the breeze of fragrance, flowers giving me their love.
And bumble bees of the softest cloth, nuzzling my face.
With their purity and their generosity.
My few soliders, a protective pact because of that bridge.
Oh my sweet, long-lost bridge, where my heart rests.

Those memories of such a time just break my heart.
I feel the pain, yet it's not apart of this body.
There, it is felt and inside that bubble, a disease spreads.
I want to return, but my tears won't let me look back.
I can only keep going, and moving without you.
A tainted amulet of the past, a bridge.

The ghost of my past lying broken, by the seige of time.
I never knew that I couldn't live there forever.
And that my soles would walk on without me.
That heart of mine, stuck there in that pocket of perfection.
My innocence, well, it's beneath a bridge that I once knew.

I have a phantom purpose inside of me, and it knows what I don't.
I sense deep things for me, but yet know nothing.

S

School is over in two weeks. It's time for me to spread my wings and grow with the universe. My life force is ready to expand and spread over the earth like a benevolent conquest. In my heart, there is such a beautiful lotus flower and it is finally beginning to reach the point of slowly opening up.

I can't wait to see what it's like to live the lotus. Much time before I am open and free, but I am ready to be this way.

Nightmares come in the form of happy dreams guised as one's true wishes. The true evil is in the knowledge that it will never be real.