Friend comes over.
Gets drunk.
Pees on my bed somehow.
Goes to sit on it at some point.
Tells me there is water.
Says he has no idea how it got there.
I use paper towel to soak it up, smell it, and prove it is urine.
He sticks to water theory.
I gain in impatience.
Says, "I don't know how it got there," then tries to actively create an alibi.
Fails miserably; still sticks with his ideas.
Says, "I'm not even that drunk."

Story of my night.