I wish I were more consistent with the blog... more so when I used to be. I've been really down for the past month--dealing with an immature desire. Now that the roller coaster is stopped, maybe I can concentrate on Zanguin and school with having to worry and fret all the time. The sickening part: he judged me before he could even get to know me.

Today, I watched October Sky in Electronics. That movie has always gotten me choked up. When Miss Riley is in her hospital bed and she's looking up at the rocket as it's soaring into the sky--man does that touch my heart so profoundly. Our teacher wasn't present today, so we were irresponsibly located to CAMM's classroom. I say irresponsibly because it wasn't a good idea as our two classes feud and clash.

Kurt, a six-foot-six guy almost got dragged into a petty brawl--one of which would have been highly troublesome for the three guys that were antagonizing him. It was very smart of him to back down because I know he would have killed them and broken bones..and I'm not one to cope well with exterior violence. I commend him for knowing when to say his fists of fury. :)

I have to reinstall my computer again. I downloaded something from a program called Frostwire and it gave me an abundance of Trojans, Worms, and Viruses! :)

E kunitune Ha... mokdu. :)

A lot has been going on, per usual. I made friends with someone in another country and it proved to be a bad idea. He ended up offending me and not understanding how important it was to accept each other's ideas and culture. Unfortunately, I had to ignore him. More to the relevance, I also met someone form Israel: Yulia. She is a divine person inside and her soul speaks to me in ways that I didn't think I could feel from another.

She is the pinnacle of purity, I believe, and I know she will go on to do great things. She and I believe we are both destined to do great things, which only strengthens this global bond of ours. She is a fruitful Pagan as well as I. I find myself feeling like an equal to her in many ways and just when I feel a balance, I learn something new about her that tip the scales in her favor. :)

Paganism: the beautiful pantheon of Earth religions and beliefs of magic, many gods, spirits, energies, karma, and reincarnation. Normally, I am very good at withholding stress and keeping it contained; blocked and easily filtered. But lately, I've been having so much stress, so much in fact that I just cannot think. I blew up on a friend yesterday--started raising my voice very loud and speaking with anger.

I was shocked afterward and apologized, stressing that I've been so annoyed lately by the same redundant misbehavior and disrespect that has been festering inside of my Electronics classroom for months upon months. The obnoxiousness wasn't so remnant today. We were all.. crabby with each other. The last 40 minutes of class appeared to show some hope, a hope so fortuitous that it made my cynical thoughts decrease.

I didn't think there could be an undramatic silence. Well, it wasn't a silence, but it was close enough to the actual phenomenon. The atmosphere was so pure, in fact, that the normal intoxicated permeations were low enough for everyone to get along. Heck, this kid, who I believed thought I was extremely creepy, sat next to me to read a book because it was so "silent."

Today was an improvement and I hope tomorrow is also. I think I changed the atmosphere in part because at the beginning, before I walked through the thick, metallic door of sterility, I drew some Norse runes in the air and said a chant.But what really makes me feel bad for feeling this way is the fact that a certain someone wasn't here today. It's upsetting that she may indeed be the faulty fulcrum in which we've all been relying on.

One would just obtain a new fulcrum. I don't know about anybody else, but I don't like being unbalanced because of others. If I'm going to be unbalanced and have off energies, it's going to be me doing it to Myself. And it has been my fault for the most part, as it should be. I've been operating in such a fierce dramatic world, something I'm unused to. One can tolerate so much until they blow up like a nuclear reactor.

It felt good to express my feelings of how redundant and pissed off everyone as a whole makes me. I only wish we all could get along in stead of having to live in a self-inflicted stagnant pool of toxic waste. But, today was a good day, so I'm not aloud to complain anymore. I may only hope it gets better now and be a litter more nice to people. I've lost my head in the fogginess of London.

Yesterday's evening grew sour like milk sitting on a counter for days left in heat. I came back to my "abode" from a fantasy retreat only to realize that good things do come to those who wait and that negative emotions still exist in my heart from many perturbed experiences from long ago. I ended up in a worry of tears yesterday evening--which lasted well through the night.

It was such a nasty contrast because that evening, I went on a date with a very amazing person. We had a great time and I loved every minute of it. We went from coffee to Panda Buffet, a local Chinese Cuisine restaurant, and then to the mall. I restocked my Sage incense and bought some new Pine incense.

Today was a good fortune though. It shows how even the scariest demons can learn to cooperate. But what those demons do with their power, is the important part of the grand design. Onto something exciting, I received my marks for the card marking! :) But wait-- I must share with you this dramatic story because indeed it is indubitably so:

Monday was a lukewarm day. The halls of William D. Ford's Career Technical Center were flooded with variations of all types of fears. Today was an important day because the dreaded report cards were to be given out like injections during a post-viral apocalypse. Some kids, when given their unfortunate document, are so worried, that they pissed themself in horror as they read down the column of D's and E's.

I existed in such a classroom that day. When our pushy teacher spewed into the main classroom from his grave office like a mad man, his eyes lit with fire and his smile awry, my heart seemed to fill with liquid nitrogen. I saw him pressing in on me, surveying my Legal Judgment with keen disapproval. He came with such a slowness that I couldn't bear it anymore.

F'woosh, the paper slid into my hand like butter-fingers. I saw the first A and smiled with excitement: "Maybe he was trying to psyche me out," I thought. Then it hit me like a semi-truck. I had a B and then rest were A's. I was devastated--went through my usual routine of grief. I went through the stages accurately: Shocked, upset, angry, annoyed, upset, and then happy once the grade was swiftly changed this morning by my teacher. It was an error.

An unmistakable error. I knew I, such a perfect angel ( :P ), could never amount to obtaining a B.

So in reality, I was mistakingly given a B and it was changed to an A due to it being an error. I was upset out of no where. But no one understands how frustrating it is to be 0.2 points away from a 4.0, the highest mark to obtain without being enrolled in Advanced Placement courses. I now have it though.

I cannot believe I let the blog slip for a few days! I've truly been busy doing fun stuff. :) I did end up getting a start on Chapter 2, which to my surprise, turned out great. The idea was amazing and I'm glad it popped into my head.


About a year ago, I started a project. It's taken me so long because, well, I'm lazy! :) I wanted to make a divination tool for myself.. something that had to do with my creativity and spiritual beliefs. I took Anikuwynér and incorporated it into my rune set.

In Norse divination, they use 24 runes. In my rune set, I use 60, which are dually scribed onto 30 wooden pieces. Up until today, I had only 17/30. I wanted something to do today, so I thought to myself, "How about finishing the runes?" I got to work and started sawing some more pieces from this tiny stick I selected a while back.

My only tool, regrettably, was a small multi-tool that had an handsaw with a metal filer on one side. The work was laborious. I had to saw off a good chunk from the stick, then saw that in half to get two pieces, file those to my liking, and so on. When I decided to finish the set today, I was dreading it because I realized I had to make 13 more.. but luckily, I had 3 already made and a whole bunch of scraps, that were oddly shaped, from the ones I had made already. I really only had to saw one more chunk from the stick. (Which sucked)

I delicately and carefully painted one side red and one side blue. Now remember, I had some runes already made.. but the one thing that sucked, was that I had old variations of the script on some of my already-made runes. So I had to repaint some of them. =/ And then I had to paint the blue side of all the already-made runes so I could add the new hieroglyphics script.

Red side = Positive = Symbolic script.
Blue side = Negative = Hieroglyphics script.

Here's a collage of my work:

My favorite part about the runes is not their aesthetic qualities, but the fact that I can throw them and interpret the picture(s) that show as well as using them in spreads and such.

I must write sooner or later. :) I think I will tonight. I'm feeling it. It think.

I feel like I need to go somewhere quite and serene to write more to Zanguin. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow. :)

I keep losing my train of thought with the book.

There are only 315 days left to write this book.

What am I going to do?

I can't think straight.. things are so overwhelming for me.

I can't decide on my plot. :/

Vinyi u G'tén, e nu kunitune ha.

Things are so conflicting lately. I need to get my head around them all.

I´ve been so busy this weekend! I´ve been shuffling around from friend to friend... basically: I got my PC changed to Ubuntu.. then it doesn´t recognize my internet card and other hardwares...

So I have to reinstall some nasty windows operating system crap again. :(

And I want to thank Glen for saving my book. :) I wish I had enough time and patience to write a decent blog out.. but I don´t. Night.

Iglenan nö Oméju

Tenyu ki, aztevi mohérsa oxüvu mi flania yö.

Oyami lati va muindore u miyöwe ke ha onye.

Ha bukunde ke munegase kii vénte umit'sae xüwe kuwynér te ama.

Poj ki, xüwe va Ue meyan ju.

Ha nu akyre sha kuné azte salu yoznan te sofi.

Ha nu akyre oyami kuné bukunde ki véte chiju va orkae.

Poj ki, nun mö su ishkekun u onämak ke yonka.

Ha wüvele pun sani jan kii Ha wüvele ba pun.

Akunal kii akum'tér aztevi.

A Restless Warrior

Sometimes, there are these feelings in the air.

They speak to me and bind their soul with me.

I wish I knew how to translate them into my language.

But there are no words for them.

I want peace to be ubiquitous among my people.

I want them to understand how great love is.

But their hearts are blind and fickle inside.

I need to save them, or I need to be saved.

Somewhere, there is hope.

I figured it out--naturally! :) I'm back in business. I've found my light and I now know where I want Zanguin to go. It's going to write itself no matter my questioning. My soul will write this book, not me. I am merely the vessel, the machine that puts the ideas together.

E aetute a, gizuin te. E harte, e harte!

I'm going to see Glen this weekend, so I'm excited. We plan on discussing ideas for our individual books. I spent so much time thinking, contemplating---trying to make this book into everything that it wasn't. I focused on the mainstream idea--not the maniacal one that lurks within my own twisted mind!

I don't know if this book is going to be a sci-fi anymore. It may actually be borderline sci-fi and fantasy. Who knows. I want to make it believable and yet conceivable at the same time. This is my world. The one in which I created. No one is going to stand in the way of where it will go. I control its destiny--or more better, my soul control its destiny.

Vinyi u g'tén, evo nu mahale Ha,

Michael.

Where is my head at?

Last night was intense. I didn't mean to post something so emotional. :L

I really need to find my inspiration again. I've not written in a while. I keep staying busy and thinking about tons of stuff that have nothing to do with the book. If it were me, Id say that I were avoiding it all.

Idk why, but I feel like the book isn't going to be great, that no publisher will take my "piece of shit." It scares me and also makes me feel like poop. I'm psyching myself out and I can't help it.

I need something to help me focus. Maybe I can make another map or something to get my artistic flow of creativity back in check. I started to draw a cityscape and then gave up on it. It turned into something other than an Aniku world.

I need to think.. to remember my vision.

E hekujne ha onye, omue.
Come to me, vision.

Miyäyu isto van,

Michael.

Emotions

Why do the Aniku feel? Are they human also? I'm not certain. I meant to take this book into a mainstream direction, but then I realized my initial reason for the book. I wanted to present my innate ideas, emotions, and fantasies. I wanted to show people how beautiful life could be.

I wanted to express a beauty and culture of a world that was objective and pure. An innocent culture set apart from the inheritance of humankind; a luxurious evil. I believe in a future where man will walk on the surface of Mars in unionship. Earth won't be here forever. I believe in a world in which mankind and vegetation coexist genuinely.

I believe in a world in which the heart grows as high as the redwood. I have had many fantasies, since childhood, of a man uniting with nature and becoming the follower and believer of its divinity. This man is supposed to be the gifted one, the one who brings us all together and destroys the evils of Today.

I've always fantasized in my mind this perfect dinner; a dinner with kids of all different races eating together and getting along. I don't know why or how, but as a child, I somehow discerned common sense and objectivity. When I looked at people, I saw people, not skin. I saw the difference, and yet, I was intrigued by it. No matter my intrigue, I still respected them as human beings.

I still believed in mankind after all the horrible things that have happened to me. At the age of four, I went to foster care for spousal violence in the home. I was shuffled from family to family, being split up from my brother and sister. I was abused, neglected, tortured, locked in dark basements, and whipped for no reason--and even left at strange residences.

Even though I was beat up by the African-American kids in Detroit when I was with Linda Foster, I never hated black people as a whole. I somehow knew that was one experience and that not all black people were like that. They stole my toys and picked on me all the time, making fun of me for being white. You'd think a four year-old boy would discriminate against African-Americans in his adulthood, but no.

I love diversity. I love the idea of all kinds of races uniting as one. I fantasize a future in which all of us humans (black, white, tall, fat, gay, transexual, straight) can coexist together as a global nation; one unit, one heart, one soul. I want Ektovente to come. This must happen for my vision to come true.

E hekujne a, Ektorvente ta malun.
Nun te za ke la.

Miyäyu ka isto,

Michael.

Sorry !

I've been over my friend Brandon's house, fixing my computer. I didn't really have time to get on the net and make a new post. :( So that's one day out of the year that I've skipped.

I really need to get writing again. I've got tons of new ideas, I think-- but I'm not sure. :( I'm going to write tonight.

Miyäyu isto van,

Michael.

Lime-green grass bites

I wasn't neglecting or putting the blog off! I had a reasonable excuse!

I saw Alice In Wonderland a few hours ago ! :D

It was such a worthwhile experience because it was so beautiful, vivid, inspiring, captivating, and heart-warming. Not a single time did I grow bored. I didn't feel the same array of emotions that I felt for Avatar, but I did feel some neat emotions. Avatar got the brain engaged and focused. A.I.W. did this also.

Did I mention that Tim Burton is my favorite director?

I know that I say I'm not into the media all the time, but who truly cares? Tim Burton is a mighty fine exception. Guess that make me a hypocrite. Growing up, I've always been different. I never really had many friends and I was always being picked on and made fun of for it. I would often play by myself and have conversations with myself.

What a lot of people don't really process about me is that I'm a devout Pagan. The commonality of gay people that I've come to know is that, if you are gay, you're not Christian... and if you are, you're damn proud of it! And we all know that pride promotes publicity. Since I'm not all open about my Christianity (Hypothetically), I assume people assume that I'm Athiest--or they really just don't think about it.

Not many people know this, heck, I don't think my own family knows this: but for the lot of my life, I've had encounters with the dead. I vividly remember talking to spirits, playing with them, and getting to know them at the age of 2-5. Later on in life, it dulled down until about age 13, when I hit what is popularly known as Psychic Puberty in the media.

What I'm saying is that, I've always had oddities and weird/deranged ideas and concepts. I've always been a rather unfathomable and precocious child. These early-on traits and personality patterns is what lead me to being such a fan of Tim Burton. I absolutely idolized Edward Scissorhands, but as some seemingly "tolerant" people say, "different strokes for different folks." Tim Burton's concepts have always fascinated and engaged my thinker. 

When I got home, I did some catching up on Facebook and then proceeded to writing. I came up with some really crazy stuff. It turned into this random thing about a bridge, the river, candy, giraffes, rain-- it was intense. I think of Tim Burton as my muse--the medium in which my insanity is procured.

Learn some Aniku. ;)

Han o'téme ba a'ktum ta kémor ! Ha yosogo ijan! Sani va orkae imeza. Wa ! Han okdu guyum'a ta blüg te nemyat.. :/ Aze va likorna mahaz

"I made dinner tonight ! I'm so excited. It was extremely good. Oh ! I'm sorry for my blog neglect, I truly was busy."

My cityscape sketch looks pretty rad. When I'm done, I'll scan it, clean it up, and post it! :)
Also, I REALLY need some more ideas. 2_2

Miyäyu isto van,

Michael.

A sketch for imagination

I'm currently sketching some ideas of the main city where it takes place at first. It helps for me to be able to get my ideas down onto paper so that I can see it better in my mind.

I made honor roll for my 4.0 last semester. :)

Miyäyu isto van,

Michael.

Ha okye ve a'ktum ta Chinese. Kyri va orkae ijan. :)
I am eating Chinese food right now; it's really good.

Been working on The Articles of Muema; still. I have to get it done or else I can't continue the book. I never realized how cool it was to create your own world... until now. x)

I've been having some really weird dreams lately. The other day, I had this dream that I was driving a vehicle that kept switching from different types of cars. Then, out of no where (Of course =P), I was driving the car from the back seat and I ended up crashing. When I did crash, the car somehow turned into a semi.

The scene was on the turn of a ramp that, I guess, merged onto a main road. I was scared to call the police, so I never did. For some reason, it felt like I had stolen it or I should not have been driving it; like I'd get in serious trouble if I were caught. Then, out of no where (Again!), I kept quantum leaping from the scene to my house and to the scene from my house.

Weird dreams... anyways, keep posted!

Miyäyu isto van,

Michael.

The Articles of Muema

I have been diligently working on an important section of The Articles of Suwek. This section is basically the constitution of the land. In the book, the society, The Aniku, are all united by the Suwek. As you read, you'll learn that the Suwek is a union of all of the great continents.

The Suwek was founded by Okal Mitru, which happens to be the sub-name of my novel. (Foreshadowing :P) These people got together and decided that they'd bring together the nations so that war would never happen again. The great conference spawned The Aritcles of Suwek, which have inside of it The Articles of Muema.

Muema means "law" in Aniku. From Muema 1 to a certain number, no law may be changed or removed. That is the "constitution" of the Aniku. :)

I'm enjoying my little constitution! It gets pretty intense. :D I'm going to bed soon and I skipped dinner, so I should go eat something.

" By Muema 4: All living beings of original Aniku decent are entitled to basic freedoms which no one may deny them: Speech, communication, thought, art, love, orientation of any type, religion of any type, happiness, self-affecting behaviors, protection, assembly, and advocacy of any type."

Miyäyu isto van,

Michael.