I am from...

Assigned for English 12 A.

I am from children who walk without strife.
A flawless little smile so full of life.
Happy, innocent, dry without fear.
Wet without sadness; prime music to hear.

A look to my eye and you'd see no lie.
A shameless creature; nothing to hide.
But I am from windows with gouls in their frames.
I am from closets which burn with flames.

I am polluted inside without help.
From gallows of suffering, a tortured ugly whelp.
A sheep so stained of negro and blame.
I am from two families who know not my name.

For so long I've tried to impress and show off.
My mother is my sadness, my father purely dross.
My brother a maze and my sister a crutch.
Why are they blind of me so much?

Destiny, diversity, complaining, and pain.
Sorrow, depresion, anorexia, and fame.
Different, queerbait, gay, and alone.
Embarrassment, purging, selfish, and unknown.

I am from dreams which play when awake.
Constantly seing a vision that's fake.
Synonym-searching, I am from books.
Burried in classes which I never took.

Fear, doubt, stagnation, and smite.
Malice, violence, neglect, and contrite.
Psychological, expression, empathy, and used.
Longing, solitude, regret, and confused.

I am from hoping to run far away.
Cops calls and crying and kneeling to pray.
I am from times of being beaten and hated.
Hoping to burst from this facade I've created.

Bones with phantom aching from times when I was young.
Never will the scars heal; they suffocate my lungs.
Apathetic composure, a demeanor of my own.
A fabrication of my past to forget the pain I've known.

Solace, wanting, begging, and tears.
Death-craving, hope, devil, and queer.
Opression, homo, misery, and sorrow.
Cutting, self-hurt, suicidal, tomorrow?

Spiritual, loquacious, quirky, and different.
Eccentric, unnoticed, composed, and silent.
Lyers, sexuality, destruction, uniqe.
Intimidation, artistic, meditation, and weak.

Rough-house, horseplay, fighting, and bullying.
Unloved, starvation, alienation, and sullying.
Depravity, crime, smut, and contempt.
No one knows the truths I've kept.

Foster care was fun, but the bruises I'd leave.
Molestation was amazing, but I'd still keep my V.
Punched in the face or being ganged.
I'd DIE to see this world fully change.

Medical lies to get me to calm down.
Suicide in the bathtub to hopefully drown.
Stretch marks, fat, ugly, atrocity.
Low self-esteem and no hospitality.

I am from wishing that I could go back.
I am from purity which was unjustly snatched.
I am from secrets and walking with shadows.
Ex boyfriends, ex friends, burned-down meadows.

I from singing to help coexist with a hateful place.
I am from sobbing drops of liquid pain down my face.
I am from emotions which come back now and again.
I am from witchcraft, magic, spellcraft, and pagans.

Won't make it, can't do it, fail without trying.
Loser forever, worthless and crying.
9th grade is over and 12th grade was lost.
Damned, shy, ending it at any cost.

Lost in space while my body is still on Earth.
People won't get me, so I'll pretend my own worth.
I'll show the world just how much of a lie they've given.
I'll lose 50 pounds and live this life without being a hindrance.

I'll become the standard that the world has advocated.
I'll grow from being someone who has been the most kid ever hated.
I am from a lie which somehow saved my life.
I can now cope with my fears and I can now endure my peers.

I am reborn from the person that I was.
But often I cannot ignore that whispering faint buzz.
The one that reminds me of the roots I want to leave.
I am from a past that won't go away no matter what I believe.

I am now from strength which now knows my title.
I am now from drawing, creativity, literature, and idols.
I am now from crafts, constructing things for beauty.
I am from writing and journaling, making love my lofty duty.

I am myself and nothing less.
I love who I am, I must confess.
I may be from the past that I had.
But I'm not who I am because of that.

I am now passionate, eagar, beautiful, and glad to be odd.
But now I have to learn how to break this false facade.

Because I am not from smiles, innocence, and beauty.
I am not this vision of some church's glory.
I am not from pop music, dance routines, or Disney.
I am from a production of sorrow, pain, and misery.

I know who I am and where I come from.
But now I can see what I could have become.
.. or what I could have stayed.
Regardless of anyone's dismay.

I am from a society with rotting pupils..
I am a monster anew with new scruples.
I am a "faggot," but I am a person.
Before any judgment, I deserve this.

A chance to be free of all given sin.
I am from goodness, all from within.
I am from growing up too fast.
I am from punishments that ended with a blast.

I've always asked myself, "What could I have done?"
"To deserve such a sentence to be so unloved?"
Why is it that I was always being so hated?
I sometimes wonder if I've become jaded.

Rain, nature, weather, and seas.
Victory, inspiration, power, and trees.
Voice, word, speech, and humanity.
Signals, omens, cures, and vanity.

I am from asking the world to change for me.
If not, I'd die just trying to see.
If this world could learn from my own past.
To unite with pain to create a peace to last.